On their 50th wedding anniversary
and during the banquet celebrating it, Susan was asked to give her friends a brief account of the benefits of a marriage of such long duration.
“Tell us Susan, just what is it you have learned from all those wonderful years with your husband?”
Susan responds, “Well, I’ve learned that marriage is the best teacher of all. It teaches you loyalty, meekness, forbearance, self-restraint, forgiveness — and a great many other qualities you wouldn’t have needed if you’d stayed single.”
Bob went over to his friend Joe’s house and was amazed at how well Joe treated his wife.
He often told her how attractive she was, complimented her on her cooking and showered her with hugs and kisses.
“Gee,” Bob remarked later, “you really make a big fuss over your wife”.
“I started to appreciate her more about six months ago,” Joe said. “It has revived our marriage and we couldn’t be happier.”
Inspired, Bob hurried home, hugged his wife and told her how much he loved her and said he wanted to hear all about her day. But she burst into tears.
“Honey,” Bob said, “whats’ the matter?”.
“This has been the worst day,” she replied. “This morning Billy fell off his bike and broke his ankle, then the washing machine broke. Now to top it off, you come home drunk!“.
A young man excitedly tells his mother that he’s fallen in love and that he is going to get married.
He says, “Ma, I’m going to bring over three women, and you try and guess which one I’m going to marry.”
The mother agrees.
The next day, he brings three beautiful women to the house and sits them down on the couch and they chat for a while. Later, he says, “Okay Ma, guess which one I’m going to marry?”
She immediately replies, “The one on the right.”
“That’s amazing, Ma! You’re right. How did you know?”
The mother replies, “I don’t like her.”
