A kid asks his dad, “What’s a man?”
The dad says, “A man is someone who is responsible and cares for their family.”
The kid says, “I hope one day I can be a man just like mom!”
The father is telling his son stories to help him sleep.
The only sound is the murmur of dad’s voice. Two hours pass, and there’s silence in the room.
The mother creeps to the door and whispers, “Is he asleep, dear?”
“Yes, Mommy,” says her son.
An Irishman took his son to the bar on his birthday to buy him his first drink.
The father bought his son a stout, but he didn’t like it and didn’t want to drink it.
The father decided to drink it for him and ordered an ale instead.
He didn’t like it either.
So, the father drank it and ordered him a cider. Lager, cider, cream ale… he didn’t like any of them, so the father drank them and ordered whisky instead.
He didn’t like any of the Irish whiskeys the father ordered, so the old man drank them and decided to give up.
By the time they left the bar.
The father was so drunk he could barely push his son’s stroller home.
A mother and father in their 40s loved their children very much.
They had three kids, two of whom were already grown up. Their third child, the youngest, was only 10 years old. They were tucking their young boy in to bed one night when they asked him what he wanted when he grew up.
Son: Mom, I also want 5 wives. One will cook, one will sing, one will bathe me.
Mom: And one will put you to sleep.
Son: No mom, I will still sleep with you.
Mom’s eyes filled up with tears. God bless you son.
Mom: But who will sleep with your 5 wives?
Son: Let them sleep with daddy.
Daddy’s eyes filled up with tears. God bless you son!
I was out walking with my 4 year old daughter.
She picked up something off the ground and started to put it in her mouth. I took the item away from her and I asked her not to do that.
“Why?” my daughter asked.
“Because it’s been on the ground, you don’t know where it’s been, it’s dirty, and probably has germs” I replied.
At this point, my daughter looked at me with total admiration and asked, “Mommy, how do you know all this stuff, you are so smart.”
I was thinking quickly. “All moms know this stuff. It’s on the Mommy Test. You have to know it, or they don’t let you be a Mommy.”
We walked along in silence for 2 or 3 minutes, but she was evidently pondering this new information.
”OH…I get it!” she beamed, “So if you don’t pass the test you have to be the daddy.”
“Exactly” I replied back with a big smile on my face.
