While sports fishing off the Florida coast in Key West, a tourist capsized his boat.
He could swim, but his fear of alligators kept him clinging to the overturned craft.
Spotting an old beachcomber walking on the shore, the tourist shouted, “There wouldn’t by chance be any alligators in these waters?!”
He asks in panic. “No,” the old man hollered back, “haven’t been any for years!”
Feeling relieved, the tourist started swimming leisurely toward the shore.
About halfway toward shore he asked the old man, “Say, how’d you get rid of the gators, anyway?”
“We didn’t do anything,” the old man said. “The sharks got ’em.”
An elderly man in Florida had owned a large farm for several years.
He had a large pond in the back, fixed up nicely: Picnic tables, horseshoe courts, a volleyball court, and some fruit trees.
The pond was properly shaped and fixed up for swimming.
One evening the old farmer decided to go down to the pond and look it over, as he hadn’t been there in a while.
He grabbed a five-gallon bucket to bring back some fruit.
As he neared the pond, he heard voices shouting and laughing with glee.
As he came closer, he saw it was a bunch of young women skinny-dipping in his pond.
He made the women aware of his presence and they all went to the deep end.
One of the women shouted to him, “We’re not coming out until you leave!”
The old man frowned, “I didn’t come down here to watch you ladies swim or make you get out of the pond.”
Holding the bucket up he said, “I’m here to feed the alligator.”
So one day, Grandma sent her grandson Little Johnny down to the waterhole to get some water for cooking dinner.
As he was dipping the bucket in, he saw two big eyes looking back at him.
He dropped the bucket and hightailed it for Grandma’s kitchen.
“Well now, where’s my bucket and where’s my water?” Grandma asked him.
“I can’t get any water from that water hole, Grandma” exclaimed Johnny. “There’s a BIG ol’ alligator down there!”
“Now don’t you mind that ol’ alligator, Johnny. He’s been there for a few years now, and he’s never hurt no one. Why, he’s probably as scared of you as you are of him!”
“Well, Grandma,” replied Johnny, “if he’s as scared of me as I am of him, then that water ain’t fit to drink!”
