A husband took his young daughter to the grocery store with him.
In addition to the healthful items on the carefully prepared shopping list, they returned with a box of sugar-laden cookies.
The man noticed the glare of his wife and said, “This box of cookies has one-third fewer calories than usual.”
“Why is that?” the mother asked.
“We ate a third of the cookies on the way home,” he replied.
The boss called one of his employees into the office.
“Joe,” he said, “you’ve been with the company for a year. You started off in the post room; one week later, you were promoted to a sales position, and one month after that you were promoted to District Manager of the sales department. Just four months later, you were promoted to vice- chairman. Now it’s time for me to retire, and I want you to take over the company. What do you say about that?”
“Thanks!” said Joe.
“Thanks?” the boss replied, “Is that all you can say?”
“I suppose not,” Joe said. “Thanks, Dad!”
The son of a Saudi mogul goes to study in Europe.
One night, the phone rings at the house of his parents.
Dad: ‘How’s your life going, son?’
Son: ‘It’s going well, dad.’
Dad: ‘Is something wrong? You don’t sound happy.’
Son: ‘No Dad, everything’s fine. Berlin is wonderful, the people are nice and I really like it here.’
Dad: ‘Son, tell me the truth. I know something’s not right.’
Son: ‘Well dad, to be honest, I am a bit ashamed to drive to my college with my pure-gold Ferrari 599GTB when all my teachers and many fellow students travel by train.’
Dad: ‘My dear son, why didn’t you say so earlier? I will send you more funds this instant. Please stop embarrassing us and go and get yourself a train too.’
A few years ago I had a proud (step)dad moment I think this sub will like..
This was right after picking her up from preschool. She was usually a bit grumpy and I always tried to be fun and keep the drive home more upbeat.
Her: “I’m hungry.”
Me: “Nice to meet you, hungry, I’m dad.”
Her: “Ahhhhgh could you not say that anymore?”
Me: “Aw why not, sweets?”
Her: “Because I don’t like it when you call me names like hungry or thirsty or anything!”
Me: “Alright, I’m not going to say that anymore.”
Her: “Nice to meet you, not going to say that anymore.”
