Teacher: “Ramu, you talk a lot!”
Ramu: “It’s a family tradition.”
Teacher: “What do you mean?”
Ramu: “Sir, my grandpa was a street hawker, my father is a teacher.”
Teacher: “What about your mother?”
Ramu: “She’s a woman.”
Eleven people were hanging on a rope under a helicopter, ten men and one woman.
The rope was not strong enough to carry them all, so they decided that one had to drop off, otherwise they were all going to fall.
They were not able to choose that person, but then the woman made a very touching speech.
She said that she would voluntarily let go of the rope, because as a woman she was used to giving up everything for her husband and kids, without ever getting anything in return.
As soon as she finished her speech, all the men started clapping their hands.
A new general was allotted to a new army base.
After some time in the base he realized how there were two army men guarding an empty bench in shifts. He asked his colleagues and his juniors what it was all about.
A colleague said “I don’t know but it’s been a tradition here since joined 35 years ago.”
The general confused as he was went through the past generals of that base till he found the one that was in charge 35 years ago.
He attempted to find him, and found that he had retired and he lived in the countryside now. He contacted him and requested to meet.
On the day of the meeting the general asked the retired commander why that bench was guarded so much. The commander was shocked.
“So you’re telling me the paint on that bench hasn’t dried yet?!”
An 80-year-old Italian man goes to the doctor for a check-up.
The doctor is amazed at what good shape the man is in and asks, ‘How do you stay in such great physical condition?’
‘I’m Italian and I am a golfer,’ says the old guy, ‘and that’s why I’m in such good shape. I’m up well before daylight and go out golfing up and down the fairways.’
‘Well,’ says the doctor, ‘I’m sure that helps, but there’s got to be more to it. How old was your dad when he died?’
‘Who said my dad’s dead?’
The doctor is amazed. ‘You mean you’re 80 years old and your dad’s still alive. How old is he?’ ‘He’s 100 years old,’ says the golfer. ‘In fact, he golfed with me this morning.’
‘Well,’ the doctor says, ‘that’s great, but I’m sure there’s more to it than that. How about your dad’s dad? How old was he when he died?’
‘Who said my grandpa’s dead?’
Stunned, the doctor asks, ‘You mean you’re 80 years old and your grandfather is still alive! Incredible! How old is he?’
‘He’s 118 years old,’ says the golfer.
The doctor is getting frustrated at this point. ‘So, I guess he went golfing with you this morning too?’
‘No. Grandpa couldn’t go this morning because he’s getting married tomorrow.’
At this point, the doctor is close to losing it. ‘Getting married! Why would a 118-year-old guy want to get married?’
‘Who said he wanted to?’
