A little boy was afraid of the dark.
One night his mother told him to go out to the back porch and bring her the broom.
The little boy turned to his mother and said: “Mama, I don’t want to go out there. It’s dark.”
The mother smiled reassuringly at her son. “You don’t have to be afraid of the dark,” she explained. “Jesus is out there. He’ll look after you and protect you.”
The little boy looked at his mother with a confused stare and asked: “Are you sure he’s out there?”
“Yes, I’m sure. He is everywhere, and he is always ready to help you when you need him,” she said.
The little boy thought about that for a minute and then went to the back door and cracked it a little.
Peering out into the darkness, he called: “Jesus? If you’re out there, would you please hand me the broom?”
So one day, Grandma sent her grandson Little Johnny down to the waterhole to get some water for cooking dinner.
As he was dipping the bucket in, he saw two big eyes looking back at him.
He dropped the bucket and hightailed it for Grandma’s kitchen.
“Well now, where’s my bucket and where’s my water?” Grandma asked him.
“I can’t get any water from that water hole, Grandma” exclaimed Johnny. “There’s a BIG ol’ alligator down there!”
“Now don’t you mind that ol’ alligator, Johnny. He’s been there for a few years now, and he’s never hurt no one. Why, he’s probably as scared of you as you are of him!”
“Well, Grandma,” replied Johnny, “if he’s as scared of me as I am of him, then that water ain’t fit to drink!”
Sunday School Teacher:
“Now Little Johnny, I want you to memorize today’s motto, ‘It is more blessed to give than to receive.”
Little Johnny: “Yes mam, but I know it already. My father says he has always used that as his motto in his business.”
Teacher: “Oh, how noble of him! And what is his business?”
Little Johnny: “He’s a boxer.”
Little Johnny was going to his fathers house one day and he was packing everthing in his room and putting it in his little red wagon.
He was walking with his wagon behind him, when he came to this hill. He started up the hill but was constantly swearing “This damn thing is so heavy.”
A priest heard him and came out. “You shouldn’t be swearing” said the priest. “God hears you…He is everywhere…He’s in the chruch…He’s on the sidewalk…He’s everywhere.”
Then Little Johnny says: “Oh is he in my Wagon?”
The priest replies: “Yes Johnny, God is in your Wagon.”
Little Johnny says: “Well tell him to get the hell out and start pulling.”
