Jones came into the office an hour late for the third time in one week and found the boss waiting for him.
“What’s the story this time, Jones?” he asked sarcastically. “Let’s hear a good excuse for a change.”
Jones sighed, “Everything went wrong this morning, boss. My wife decided to drive me to the station. She got ready in ten minutes, but then the drawbridge got stuck. Rather than let you down, I swam across the river – look, my suit’s still damp – ran out to the airport, got a ride on Mr Thompson’s helicopter, landed on top of Radio City Music Hall, and was carried here piggyback by one of the Rockettes.”
“You’ll have to do better than that, Jones,” said the boss, obviously disappointed. “No woman can get ready in ten minutes.”
The candidate was interviewing for a job at a phone answer center
and was asked to make a sentence using the words Yellow, Pink, and Green.
After thinking about it for a couple of minutes, the reply was, “When the phone goes GREEN, GREEN, GREEN, I PINK up the phone and say YELLOW!”
She got the job.
A guy shows up late for work.
The boss yells, “You should’ve been here at 8.30!”
He replies, “Why? What happened at 8.30?”
A worker approaches his employer and holds up his last wage packet.
“This is two hundred pounds short,” he says.
“I know,” says the employer. “But last week I overpaid you two hundred pounds, and you didn’t say anything.”
“Well,” says the worker. “I don’t mind an occasional mistake. But when it gets to be a habit, I feel I have to call it to your attention.”
Boss: Do you think you can come in on Saturday? I know you enjoy your weekends, but I need you here.
Employee: Yeah, no problem. I’ll probably be late though as public transport on weekends is slow.
Boss: What time will you get here?
Employee: Monday.
While having their evening dinner together,
a little girl looked up at her father and asked,
“Daddy, you’re the boss in our family, right?”
The father was very pleased to hear it and confidently replied, “Yes my little princess.”
The girl then continued, “That’s because mommy put you in charge, right?”
