A man and his wife were awakened at 3:00 am by a loud pounding on the door.
The man gets up and goes to the door where a drunken stranger, standing in the pouring rain, is asking for a push.
“Not a chance,” says the husband, “It is 3:00 in the morning!” He slams the door and returns to bed.
“Who was that?” asked his wife.
“Just some drunk guy asking for a push,” he answers.
“Did you help him?” she asks.
“No, I did not, it is 3:00 in the morning and it is pouring rain out there!”
“Well, you have a short memory,” says his wife. “Can’t you remember about three months ago when we broke down, and those two guys helped us? I think you should help him, and you should be ashamed of yourself!”
The man does as he is told, gets dressed, and goes out into the pounding rain.
He calls out into the dark, “Hello, are you still there?”
“Yes,” comes back the answer.
“Do you still need a push?” calls out the husband.
“Yes, please!” comes the reply from the dark.
“Where are you?” asks the husband.
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..
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“Over here on the swing,” replied the drunk.
An Irishman and his son went to the zoo.
An Irishman and his son went to the zoo at the weekend.
A sign says, “Feed the elephant a bun to get your age.”
The little boy was so curious, so he gave the elephant a bun and it stomped its foot 6 times.
“Wow,” says the boy, “That’s right I am 6. You have a go Dad!”
So the Irish chap gives the elephant a bun.
A moment later the elephant farts and stomps twice.
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“Bajaysus, that’s right!” Said the father. “I am farty two!”
LoLLLL, we hope this joke made your day!
