There was once Little Johnny in first grade
His teacher once asked him: “Do you know what the chicken gives us?”
“Eggs” he answered
“Correct, anything else?”
“More eggs”
“Besides the eggs, what does the chicken give us?”
“Even more eggs, ma’am”
“I’ll give you a hint – it’s something fluffy”
Little Johnny stays silent
“OK. What is it that you sleep on top of at night?”
“The floor, ma’am”
“No, what do you have underneath your head?”
“My hands, ma’am”
“Ok, never mind. What does your grandfather sleep on top of?”
“A mattress, ma’am”
“And what does he put underneath his head?”
“A pillow, ma’am”
“Suppose that you cut your grandfather’s pillow open. What do you have now?”
“A rough whip with the belt from grandpa, ma’am”
“And after that…”
“A piece of white cloth, ma’am”
“And inside it you have….”
“Feathers, ma’am”
“So, what does the chicken give us again?”
“Ooh. Eggs!”
I went to a pub and ordered a beer
I went to a pub and ordered a beer.
What is the wifi password?
“Oh no,” the bartender said
“There’s no wifi in here; people used to sit talking in pubs about their day, their families, work, politics, music, the lot – now people just stare at their phones and it breaks my heart to see; therefore, no wifi in this pub.”
“Ohhhh, you are right! Ï said and I put my phone away.
“Thank you,” the bartender said, “In this pub I want you to act as you would thirty or forty years ago.”
…
..
.
So I lit a cigarette, gave him $1 for the beer, and said, “No problem.”
