The Angry Wife.
A man is in a bar talking to his friend.
“Last night, while I was out drinking, a burglar broke into my house.”
“Did he get anything?” asks his friend.
“Yes,” says the man.
“A broken jaw, six teeth knocked out, and a pair of broken ribs. My wife thought it was me coming home drunk.”
Bob went over to his friend Joe’s house and was amazed at how well Joe treated his wife.
He often told her how attractive she was, complimented her on her cooking and showered her with hugs and kisses.
“Gee,” Bob remarked later, “you really make a big fuss over your wife”.
“I started to appreciate her more about six months ago,” Joe said. “It has revived our marriage and we couldn’t be happier.”
Inspired, Bob hurried home, hugged his wife and told her how much he loved her and said he wanted to hear all about her day. But she burst into tears.
“Honey,” Bob said, “whats’ the matter?”.
“This has been the worst day,” she replied. “This morning Billy fell off his bike and broke his ankle, then the washing machine broke. Now to top it off, you come home drunk!“.
There’s a guy sitting at a bar, just looking at his drink.
He stays like that for half an hour. Soon, a big trouble-making truck driver steps next to him takes the drink from the guy and just drinks it all down.
The poor man starts crying.
The truck driver says, “Come on man, I was just joking. Here, I’ll buy you another drink. I just can’t stand seeing a man crying.”
“No, it’s not that. This day is the worst of my life. First, I fall asleep, and I’m late to the office. My boss, in an outrage, fires me. When I leave the building to my car, I found out it was stolen.”
“The police say they can do nothing. I get a cab to return home and when I leave it, I remember I left my wallet and credit cards there. The cab driver just drives away. I go home and when I get there, I find my wife in bed with the gardener. I leave home and come to this bar.”
“And just when I was thinking about putting an end to my life, you show up and drank my poison.”
