A man complains to his wife about not having anyone to play golf with.
His wife said, “Well what about your friend Clyde?”
The man replied, “Would you want to play with someone who cheats on his score and moves the ball when you aren’t looking?”
“No, I guess not,” replied his wife.
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..
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The man said, “Neither would Clyde.”
A Mexcan guy riding up to the border with two big sacks over his shoulders.
A Mexican guy comes riding up to the border on his bicycle with two big sacks over his shoulders.
He tells the border guard that the sacks are full of sand, but the guard doesn’t believe him.
The guard detains the guy, and rips open the bags, but there’s nothing but sand.
He even has the sand analyzed, only to find that it really is just sand. And the sack is just a plain sack.
Two days later, the same thing happens. And then it happens again, two days after that. Every time, that guy is on the bike carrying nothing but sand.
This goes on for seven years. It drives the border guard crazy. He loses his job because of it.
One day, he tracks the Mexican guy down and says to him, “I’m no longer a border guard, but I gotta know- what is it that you’re smuggling? Because I know you’re smuggling something.”
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The bicycle guy smiles at him and says, “Bicycles, s…u….c..k…er…”