A student visits the principal’s office.
The principal asks: “What is your name?”
The student replies: “D-d-d-dav-dav-david.”
The principal asks: “Do you have a stutter?”
Student answers: “No, my dad has a stutter but the guy who registered my name was an a*h*le.”
A proud new father sits down with his dad to have a drink.
“Well son, now that you have a son of your own its time I gave you something.”
“Dad you don´t mea-”
“Yes I do. You’ve earned it.” Says the father as he passes a copy of ‘1001 Dad Jokes 5th Edition’ to the son.
“Dad I dont know what to say…I’m honored.”
“Hi honored,” Replies the father. “I’m dad.”
I was preparing to go cash a paycheck
when I realized my husband hadn’t signed it. So I sent our four-year-old daughter upstairs to “get Daddy’s name on the back of it.”
She came back, handed it to me, and said, “I knew his name so I did it myself.”
On the back of the check, she had printed, “D-A-D”.
Baby: “Mommy.”
Dad: “No. Say daddy.”
Baby: “Mommy.”
Dad: “Crap! Say daddy!”
Baby: “Crap!”
Dad: “What did you say?”
Baby: “Crap!”
Mom: “I’m home!”
Baby: “Crap!”
Mom: “What? Where did you hear that?”
Baby: “Daddy.”
