A man boarded a train and said to the conductor, “I’m a heavy sleeper.
Please be sure to wake me at 2:00 a.m. so that I can get off in Atlanta.
Whatever I say, get me up. I have an extremely important business there!”
The next morning the man woke up in Richmond.
He found the conductor and shouted, “Do you know how angry I am?”
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“Probably about as angry as the man I had get off in Atlanta,” replied the conductor
A big city lawyer went duck hunting in South Louisiana.
A big city lawyer went duck hunting in South Louisiana. He shot and dropped a bird, but it fell into a farmer’s field on the other side of a fence.
As the lawyer climbed over the fence, an elderly farmer drove up on his tractor and asked him what he was doing. The litigator responded, “I shot a duck and it fell in this field, and now I’m going to retrieve it.”
The old farmer replied. “This is my property, and you are not coming over here.”
The indignant lawyer said, “I am one of the best lawyers in the U.S. and, if you don’t let me get that duck, I’ll sue you and take everything you own, believe?
The old farmer smiled and said, “Apparently, you don’t know how we do things in Louisiana. We rule ourselves under the Napoleonic Code. We settle small disagreements like this with the Louisiana Three Kick Rule.”
The lawyer asked, “What is the Louisiana Three Kick Rule?”
The Farmer replied. “Well, first I kick you three times and then you kick me three times, and so on, back and forth, until someone gives up.”
The attorney quickly thought about the proposed contest and decided that he could easily take the old codger. He agreed to abide by the local custom.
The farmer walked up to the lawyer and started first.
His first kick planted the toe of his heavy work boot into the lawyer’s groin and dropped him to his knees where he immediately vomited.
The geezer’s second kick nearly ripped the man’s nose off his face.
The barrister was flat on his belly when the farmer’s third kick to a kidney nearly caused him to give up.
The lawyer summoned every bit of his dark heart, vengeful will and managed to get to his feet, and said, “Okay, you old coot now it’s my turn.”
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The old farmer smiled and said, “Naw, I give up. You can have the duck.”
