A guy walked into a bar with a monkey.
The monkey grabbed some grapes off the bar and ate them.
Then he grabbed some sliced oranges and ate them.
He then jumped onto the pool table and grabbed one of the balls.
Quickly he stuck it in his mouth and somehow swallowed it whole. Everyone was amazed.
The bartender looked at the guy and said, “Did you see what your monkey just did?”
“No, what?”
“OMGGGGGGGGG, He just ate the cue ball off my pool table – whole!”
“Yeah, that doesn’t surprise me,” replied the guy, “He eats everything in sight, don’t worry, I’ll pay for the cue ball.”
After drinking some shots of whiskey, he paid his bill and stuff the monkey ate, and left.
Two weeks later the guy came back and had his monkey with him.
He ordered a drink and the monkey started running around the bar.
The monkey found a cherry on the bar. He grabbed it, stuck it up his butt, pulled it out, and then ate it.
Then the monkey found a peanut and again stuck it up his butt, pulled it out, and ate it.
The bartender asked, “Did you see what that filthy ape just did?”
“No, what?” asked the man.
“Well, he stuck both a cherry and a peanut up his arse, then he pulled them out and ate them.OMGGGGGGGGG”
“Yeah, that doesn’t surprise me,” replied the guy. “He’ll eat anything, but ever since he had to take out that cue ball, he measures everything first.”
