A mother was teaching her child about the side-effects of alcohol.
She gets two short glasses, filling one with water and the other with whiskey. “I want you to see this.”
She puts a worm in the water, and it swims around; a worm in the whiskey, and the worm dies immediately.
She then says, feeling that she has made her point clear, “What do you have to say about this experiment?”
The child responds by saying: “If I drink whiskey, I won’t get worms!”
A husband was addicted to smoking and drinking.
One day, his wife got so angry that she told him: “If you keep on smoking, all of your intestines will fall out.”
Her husband didn’t believe her, so he kept on smoking and drinking just like he always did.
His wife was determined to prove herself right, so one day she went out early in the morning and bought some big intestines. She stuffed them in her husband’s underwear as he slept.
A short while later, he woke up, let out a huge scream, and then fell silent for the next 30 minutes.
After another 30 minutes of silence, he comes downstairs, sweating profusely.
“What happened?” asked the wife.
“You were right! My intestines did come out, but don’t worry honey – after a lot of work, I finally managed to push them back in.”
A dietitian was once addressing a large audience in Chicago:
“The material we put into our stomachs is enough to have k * lled most of us sitting here, years ago. Red meat is awful. Soft drinks erode your stomach lining. Chinese food is loaded with MSG.
Vegetables can be disastrous, and none of us realizes the long-term harm caused by the germs in our drinking water.
“But there is one thing that is the most dangerous of all and we all have eaten or will eat it. Can anyone here tell me what food it is that causes the most grief and suffering for years after eating it?”
A 75-year-old man in the front row stood up and said, “Wedding cake.”
