An old county doctor went way out to the boondocks to deliver a baby.
It was so far out that there was no electricity. Then the doctor arrived, no one was home except for the laboring mother and her 5 year old child. The doctor instructed the child to hold a lantern high so he could see while he helped the woman deliver the baby.
The child did so, the mother pushed, and after a little while, the doctor lifted the new born baby by the feet and spanked him on the bottom to get him to take his first breath.
“Hit him again,” the child said.
“He shouldn’t have crawled up there in the first place!”
A couple went to have their baby delivered…
Upon arrival, the doctor said there is this new technology that would transfer a portion of the mother’s labor pain to the baby’s father, via a machine. He asked if they were willing to try it out. They were both very much in favor of it.
The doctor set the pain transfer ratio to 10% for starters, explaining that even 10% was probably more pain than the father had ever experienced before. However as the labor progressed, the husband felt fine and asked the doctor to go ahead and kick it up a notch.
The doctor then adjusted the machine to 20% pain transfer. The husband was still feeling fine.
The doctor checked the husband over and was amazed at how well he was doing.
At this point, they decided to try for 50%. The husband continued to feel quite well.
Since the pain transfer was obviously helping out the wife considerably, the husband encouraged the doctor to transfer ALL the pain to him…..
The wife delivered a healthy baby with virtually no pain. She and her husband both were ecstatic…
When they reached home…The cook was lying dead in the kitchen!